Disappointment and the Seeds of Joy

 Disappointment and the Seeds of Joy

8 But what does it say? "THE WORD IS NEAR YOU, IN YOUR MOUTH AND IN YOUR HEART"--that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, 9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus [as] Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. 11 For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED." - Rom 10:8-11 NASB95

The last time I wrote, I wrote about how all the fruit of the spirit is one thing. It is a form of love. Today, I am going to go down a bit of a rabbit trail and talk about disappointment because it is integral to understanding, how love and joy are equated. I pray that you will stick with me for a while as I write these next few installments, but especially today.

As I was out mowing this morning, I was thinking about the recent events in my life. While the Lord has been faithful and He is restoring my body, I had plans for this year, things I wanted to do, people I wanted to spend time with, places I wanted to go. As a result of the stroke, needless to say, my time has become occupied with other things, none of which I had scheduled into my plans. As the year is winding down and I am still struggling to figure out how I am going to bring together everything I need to fulfill my plans for the year, I have faced disappointment. Not only has my health slowed down my ability to go, but it has also caused a drying up of funds. Even if I could safely travel right now. I couldn’t financially do it. This is a first. I cannot remember a time when God did not provide all the funds I needed, when I needed them to go and do the things He put on my heart. As a result, I have learned to buy plane tickets when it was all the funds I had at the moment and He always provided more than abundantly for everything else.

This summer, I really wanted to spend birthdays with 4 of the boys in Guatemala. I really miss them. They are some of my favorite people to spend time with, but God slowed me down. They are right in the middle of some pretty big transitions right now and I wanted to be with them as they go through them. Not only have I now missed 3 of the 4 birthdays, but I spent one of them in the hospital. Disappointment was setting in. As I mowed this morning and was listening to a Tony Evans podcast, the Lord started speaking to me through His message. He was speaking about our hopes and dreams and how often we pin our desires to luck. “Wish me luck.” He pointed me back to the sovereignty of God. There is a plan. God knows what it is.  He created it for us to fulfill our God given dreams and purposes, but He does not consult with us on how to get us there. He pointed us to providence, the hand of God, doing the work of God, in the ways of God, by the means of God in our lives.

I know that God is at work, even in the delays and setbacks but I need to step outside of myself and ask Jesus to show me where He is working in me to accomplish His purposes in me. It is those who trust in Him who will not be put to shame. When I make my plans and they fail, despite my best efforts, I am put to shame. I have made promises I couldn’t keep. My weaknesses and inability are on full display.

God has not put a heart in me for a houseful of young men in Guatemala to let them down or to expose my failures. He has given me a heart for them because His greatest desire is that they know a Father’s heart, one that will never fail them or abandon them. His desire for them is that they would know Him as the perfect Father, who always loves them, is always supporting them. He has a great plan for their lives. I am not saying this in a Joel Osteen sort of way to make God more attractive to the masses. I am saying this from the heart of a Good Father for the Children He greatly loves and desires to have fellowship with.

I believe that the boys in San Lucas can change a nation if they know who they are in Jesus. I do not believe they are only victims of poor family decisions and a broken government system. I believe the Lord has a call on their lives to make Guatemala something much different, much better than the country they are growing up in. I believe that the Lord, in His sovereignty and by His providence has put them in a place where He can speak His identity into them. For that they He does not need me. Holy Spirit can do far more in their lives than I can. I am just blessed enough to have gotten to be one of the instruments He has chosen to regularly remind them that they are loved. He doesn’t need me, but He has privileged me to be able to tell them countless times, and I cannot wait for the day I get to tell them again face to face. My love for them is real, but only because it is rooted in His love for me and for them.

My disappointment has been because I want to live my life in my timing, but the reality is that I know the Lord is moving the chess pieces around the board to bring things together in ways that I could never have planned. I know that when I go next time, He is going to reveal His love in ways I could never have imagined. This though brings me immense joy and great hope for them. They are facing a difficult transition. I have been delayed so I could not been there in my ideal timeframe, but it is all for God’s greater purpose. He loves every boy, young man in that house far more than I ever could and He won’t let me step on His plans for them. The door is still open, and He is still inviting me to walk with Him for His next great act in their lives. I don’t know when He will take me back to San Lucas, but I am going to keep my eyes on Him. The disappointment that comes from following my own plans is too heavy. The joy that comes from seeing His plan come together is too much to miss out on.

22 For those blessed by Him will inherit the land, But those cursed by Him will be cut off. 23 The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way. 24 When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. 25 I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread. - Psa 37:22-25 NASB95

My prayer is that each of the boys in San Lucas would know the Lord in this way. David started out a lowly shepherd, but He became a rich and powerful king because he knew the Lord and He did not fear His plans. David was not perfect, but He walked with the Lord and God took him way father than a shepherd boy could ever dream. I believe there are Davids, Joshuas, and Daniels living in that house in San Lucas and before my days end here, I am going to tell you their story, of how the Lord took ordinary boys who grew up in difficult circumstances and changed their nation.